Away From Home: Sr. Aisha
Disclaimer:
Not written by a person of knowledge; just your ordinary Muslimah striving for the sake of Allah (swt). If I say anything that is wrong or displeases someone, I am truly sorry and it is strictly from my own shortcomings. Any good stated is certainly from the blessings of Allah (swt).
Away From Home
As I flipped the page of my text book, a library staff member came around to remind me that the library was closing in five minutes. A feeling of worry rushed in: how did I let it get this late and how in the world was I going to walk across campus at 2 am to get to my dorm. A brother walked past my cubicle, said ‘salaam,’ smiled politely, and left. As I finished packing up, a non-Muslim guy came up, made small talk and offered to walk me home. I kindly declined. I broke into a huge grin outside the library when I recognized someone from my dorm building walking a good ten feet in front of me. I decided to follow him home. Alhumdulillah! Allah (swt) has a way out for everything.
Would it have been different if I had gone to medical school close to home? I definitely would have gotten a couple dozen phone calls by now from my mom. In fact, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stay out that late to study in the first place. Even in undergrad, when I lived an hour away from home, a late-night coffee run with the sisters during finals week almost seemed unnecessary at times. Does that mean I would be stranded at the house or have my brother escort me everywhere if I lived at home? Absolutely not. Do I sincerely try to be more cautious when I am living away from home? Certainly. Can I do a better job at it? Absolutely. Just because I have the freedom to do something doesn’t mean that I should do it.
I came from a city where one could choose from various masjids and which Islamic events to attend. Moving to a city that has just one masjid with not much going aroused a natural feeling of disconnection with the community. I began to stream a lot more Islamic lecture series during study breaks and really began to cherish the company I had. If you are striving for something, especially if it is trying to get closer to Allah (swt), don’t let others weigh you down. Have someone that can help you along the way. That is why roommates can make a huge difference. Of course there are going to be times when you are stuck by default with roommates who on the first day tell you how anti-MSA they are and tell you not to bring Islam into discussions. Of course you have to deal with muhajjabas who think it is okay to go to the local bar with friends because they themselves don’t drink. And of course you’re going to let your friend crash at your place when her Muslim roommate decides to have her fiancé over for the weekend. Everyone is entitled to their own practices but you would at least like to live with someone who is on the same page as you. This is not something you can take a chance with; be smart about it and surround yourself with the best of people. Your company makes a huge difference, unless you are so strong and can influence those around you without being influenced. Plus, we’ll be raised on the Day of Judgment with the people we hang out with.
My friend and I quickly realized the lack of spiritualism that nourished us when we were at home. But we were also quick to realize that Islam is a solution for everything and it adds structure to life. Every decision we make and every action we take should be governed by our deen. And in all honestly, Islam is the only thing that keeps you sane in those 12 hour study days. In time of stress and distress, you want someone who can assure you along the lines of your beliefs and remind you of your intention. We started doing small things, hoping they would make a difference. We would take turns waking each other up for fajr, sharing hadiths while walking to the library, fasting together, memorizing short surahs, memorizing the names of Allah (swt) and just keeping each other in check. Why was it so different when I was at home? I don’t know. Perhaps because at home, I was constantly getting that dose of the religion. I was definitely taking it for granted.
It is not different just for grad school, but being a bit more mature and living away from home gives you a lot more exposure to the world. You will meet so many different types of people but you just have to stay strong. Just because guys (Muslims and non-Muslims) may have a certain level of interaction with your friends, don’t let them think they can behave the same way with you. So what if you upset friends by politely rejecting an invitation and saying “I’m sorry, I don’t hang out with guys leisurely.” Pick your battles wisely. Stand up and stand out; then hopefully you will stand out on the Day of Judgment too in front of Allah (swt).
You grow, and you change, hopefully for the better. Don’t stand on the line waiting to be swayed one way or another…pick a path…and pick the right path! (I know, harder said than done).
Would I be safe from most of these worries if I lived at home with my family? Certainly.
Would I want to go back in time and change the decisions I had made? Absolutely not. There are certain aspects of life, for me at least, that I experienced solely because I lived with awesome Muslimahs who taught me how to explore Islam, why become an active member for the deen (not just MSA), and that life is the longest and hardest test you’ll ever take. The ultimate grade will only be known when it’s too late to do anything about it. Therefore, study hard and study well because this, more than anything else, you have to pass.
‘Aasiya’
from: suhaibwebb.com
